What do I hate? Sleepless nights. When my anxiety is so high. I replay the situations over and over with the same terrible results. I try to change the situation, but I can't and I disappoint everyone. Everything goes wrong and it's all my fault.

I've been mentally texting my bishopric and ward members for 2 hours, trying to change the outcome I have imagined.

It's 2:30am. There isn't actually anything I can do right now. I know what I need to do, now to have the calmness and patience to wait until after work to actually accomplish it.


I date losers. I date jerks. If I supposedly have this awesome self-confidence how do I always end up with duds that treat me so poorly?!
The concept of love is once again a foreign concept to me.
Is it really possible to find a good guy? To fall in love? Where are the guys that will treat a girl the way she deserves?

Alright. Sorry for the downer of a post! Welcome to the mind of me at 3am.

Sweet dreams.