in case you didnt hear.
It's been pretty intense. i'm exhausted of applying for jobs. i had my first panic/anxiety attack the day after i got here. on the phone. in the kohls parking lot. it was scary. all i wanted to do was get on a plane and go back to my mom and dad. but after wasting two days apartment shopping for a 2 bedroom for tony and i... he got a job. and a place to live.
tony is employed.
it's pretty awesome. i went and saw him thursday at work. it was awesome. i was giddy excited for him. he's so grown up now.
i'm still living at carol and sids.
feeling like i dont belong.
trying to find a job.
so i can figure out where to live.
i went to california last weekend.
it was awesome. to see nikka and tiff. i've missed them. i'm so excited to live with nikka after she graduates. we're gonna rock salt lake city like it's never been done before.
i had my last wedding of the summer. and i got some WAY good photog experience. i took the bridals and the pre-wedding pics of them. and well, lots of pics. it was awesome. i loved the experience.
ash and i had a girls night last night. it was good to be with someone.
i need friends. bad.
i'm trying really hard not to get discouraged. i need to believe in myself.
my poor mother cannot talk to me without me crying anymore. it's something about her voice. just sends me straight to tears.
i talked to dad thursday. it was so fun to talk about our random things. he's such a great guy. i miss him.
after 8 months of living at home. i didn't realize just how close i had got to my parents.
i want to see so many people now that i'm here. i want to go see sammi and jeff. i want to go play with jodi. i really want to go up to rexburg and see all my friends.
but i feel like i dont deserve to have fun until i have a job and a place to live.
i'm excited to go to the singles ward with liz tomorrow. it's been a long time.
i feel so alone.
i cant figure out what Heavenly Father has planned for me. i dont need to know the whole picture. i just want to know what i need to do right now.
i just need to have faith. and patience.
1 comment:
Ohh sara, I miss you! I understand how you are feeling and feel like I am in the same boat with different situations.. I know we will figure out his plan just it's gonna take a little bit of searching. Love You and take care! Maybe going to go visit some people will take your mind off of the stress and worries. You are such an amazing girl! Don't ever forget you have so many people that look up to you even if you don't see them always watching. :)
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